Why Stripper Teachers Should Be Ugly

Let me first say… ouch…ouch… ouch and….ouch.

Okay so I literally just got home from my Pole Virgins class with @kellyewo and @shellyewo of Exotic Workouts and I am feeling some kind of way. Not because my arms are sore (which they are) and my thighs are tight (which they are)… but there is another reason I am never ever ever ever going back to that class…
well until next week that is.

My teacher was too damn sexy for me to focus. Now no I am not one of those sex-crazed, pussy on the brain lesbians who can not see a beautiful woman without getting aroused. I don’t know if it is because I am getting old, or because Miami has way too many beautiful women but I am never pressed… or better yet not often until…tonight.

My [expletive] stripper teacher ruined the class for me. She would do the steps and I would be watching her with “Boom Chicka Waa Waa” playing in my head. And then all the sudden she would say “Your turn”….*blink* *blink*…. to do what?

So I would go ahead and stumble through moves, but every time I would get my stride…. I would see her ass (literally) behind me and I went from “1…2…3…Pivot” to “Boom Chicka Waa Waa”. I couldn’t even get my get em girl grind on and I have been using that on the ladies since the 80s.. ok maybe the 90s.

I think my frustration registered as disinterest because at the end of the class, she was like “Oh maybe you will like the other teacher better… I know I’m kind of a drill sergeant.” In my head… I was thinking “Baby girl…[insert some vulgar reference about DADT and lesbian sex here]”. *drops head*

So I guess I better stick to my other workout… 6 calories at a time or find out if she does private lessons… naked…*side eye*

Before you judge me PLEASE check out their workout class video and tell me you would be able to concentrate….


Now who wants to rub me down? Tweet me @kristiweb