Ok for those who follow me on twitter  and/or are my facebook friend, you might have noticed the emergence of SHE. We are referring to her as SHE for the time being because the last time I had a public eye relationship it resulted in a public eye breakup and I am not down for that right now.

I hadn’t planned on blogging about her just yet but ummm yeah that was before I got caught checking up on her when one of my internet “friends” snitched on me…

Got to be more careful…

I was going to make this post about why I was fact checking (trust me I had just cause) and the aftermath but that’s the least important part. I want to talk about how I got caught. My mistake was not in my method but was definitely in trusting a chick I had never met in person.

Now don’t give me that look, I had known this woman for a year, we were both members of Dyke Club, and I had spoken to her on numerous occasions online and off, we were cool as the breeze or so I thought…

But not only did she run back and tell about my fact checking but she wasn’t even on her grown woman enough to tell me. I have actually spoken to her since and she didn’t say a mumbling word (yes I’m southern). Who does that?

This is why if I said it once I’ve said it 100x — Everyone on your friends list is not your m*f*in friend.

…and I thought the broad sending titty shots and telling my business to the mutual friend I introduced her to was bad. Lawd have mercy.

I had intended this post to be a cautionary one on why “Snoopers Never Prosper” but in case you were looking for tips on how to snoop without getting caught here is the most important one.

Smile. No really, the happier and more content you appear to your mate the less likely they are going to be on the top of their game. When they get comfortable they’ll get lazy and make it easier to catch them….

oh yeah and choose your informants carefully… *side eye*

Oh and one more thing, for those saying “I can’t believe she checked up on SHE anyway.” Please feel free to take a Nyquil nap.