First let me make 100% sure that no one reading this thinks that this is a National-Geographic-Yogi-Bear-esque personal ad. I am not interested in having sexual relations with a bear or a woman in a bear outfit for that matter.
giving those who need it a moment to click off
Okay now that we have gotten that out of the way, I am indeed searching for lesbian bears. For those who may or may not know, bears in the gay community are “men that are commonly, but not always, overweight and often having hairy bodies and facial hair. ” (I didn’t define it, blame Wikipedia). And no this is not a term used to throw shade. These men are HAPPY to be bears. There is a Bear Magazine, Bear annual events, hell I’ve watched two different movies about bears on Netflix this weekend alone.
So my question is whyyyyyyyyy aren’t their lesbian bears? I’m not saying that we should all ditch the razors for a more “natural” look. I’m asking why aren’t their organized groups of lesbians that combat the hyper sexualized notion of lesbians. And don’t say that non-skirt wearers are inherently that group. Have you been online recently? I’ve seen more “studs” in bras (and nekkid) on instagram than I have ever seen in my life. Aside from just that, though different from their femme counterparts, studs are held to a rather high standard from their workout regiment to their attire.
I don’t think we would ever see a group of lesbians with their bellies hanging out dancing around the pool. And before you try to say “What about the BBW lesbians?”, I don’t buy it. Most of the BBW lesbians I know hold themselves to extremely high standards when it comes to their personal appearance. Are women too self conscious to “let themselves go”? Is it because there are defined groups of gay men that are attracted to bears, where there wouldn’t be a female equivalent?
Discussion: Are you a bear-ette (and willing to admit it)? Do you know any bear-ettes? Are they even possible in the lesbian community?
Just a little extra, here are some bear terms. Any lezzie equivalents (other than just adding -ette to the end)?
- Bear run – a gathering or circuit party for bear/cub types and their admirers.
- Baloo – an older bear who befriends and welcomes a younger bear (Cub) into bear culture.
- Black bear – a bear of Black/African-American descent.
- Brown bear – a bear of Hispanic, Middle Eastern, or South Asian descent.
- Chaser – short for chubby chaser, or a man who likes overweight men. Is also used to generalize bear admirers.
- Chub – a heavy set gay man. May or may not be a bear (chubby bear is a common term).
- Cub – a younger (or younger looking) version of a bear, typically but not always with a smaller frame. The term is sometimes used to imply the passive partner in a relationship. Can be hairy or hairless.
- Daddy bear – an older bear, sometimes looking for a daddy/son relationship with a younger man.
- Goldilocks – a female, often heterosexual, who is often in the company of bears (a bear’s fag hag).
- Grizzly Adams – a man who is hairy and is attracted to bears; but does not self-identify as a bear.
- Grizzly bear – a very dominant, heavy, tall, or hairy bear.
- Koala Bear – a bear of Australian descent.
- Otter – a man who is hairy, but is not large or stocky – typically thinner, swimmer’s build, or with lean muscle or no muscle.
- Panda bear – a bear of Asian descent.
- Pocket bear – a short bear.
- Polar bear – a silver- or white-haired bear.
- Redwood – a red-haired bear.
23 thoughts on “In Search of Bear-ettes: Where is the Lesbian Bear community?”
I, too, have wondered…Where are the organized “bear-dykes”? I know for a fact that there are “burly” women out there, but have not been urged (or motivated) to organize. I am not a tall woman, but as far as attitude and personality, I would consider myself an “otter” — haha That cracks me up! But, being that gay Bears are supportive of everyone (from actual Bears to admirers)…I think we all fall under the Lesbian Bear spectrum! What about you?
So what you’re saying is you’re looking for overweight, hairy lesbians? That’s disgusting. I like women who look like women, not lumberjacks.
I love my woman big, bigger and biggest, and facial hair on a woman is the sexiest thing I have ever felt. lol
i am also looking for female queer bears….where are they? are they like unicorns? 😉 where can i find images of this rare and wondrous thing…
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Lol c i keep being called a stud but i can also be rediculously girly at times my motto is usually comfort so i live in trainers despite my large heel collection i own tons of pencil skirts for work but because im big with a huge chest that lets be honest needs serious strapping down when on a bicyle (or even the back of a bus) i tend to look really butch.. Anyway my point is ive always loved bears and my closest friends always say that if i was a guy thats what i would be so maybe slowly but surely it will happen?? Fyi just coz im big doesnt mean im not into fitness but it doesnt run my life, im not hairy!! But i guess the main reason y i would like to say bear is probably because of the stereotype associated with studs or butch girls theres probably tons of ‘bearettes’ but different classification to male bears and we should probably try to get rid of classifications no? Lol i know i know lots of ramblings ya but gd luk lol!!
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I totally understand where you are coming from. And bears are cuddly unless poked. I think being a bear is pretty cool.
I’m 6’1”, roughly 260 lbs and have always been called a Bear by straight friends, lesbian friends, and even gay male friends. I embrace it and enjoy it.
Really. I don’t know why that is freaking awesome to me. The best part is that it doesn’t bother you.
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I mean hey, if the shoe fits. Bears (both the animal and queer) are awesome.
I’m a proud teddy bear-identified lesbian in Los Angeles of all places. I have to hang out with the boy bears cuz there’s not enough of the girls around of any identities. Everybody just wants to go hiking. I’m like, can we just drink beer and eat cheese? I get offended when they call me “a stud”. like, no. I just don’t like shaving and like loose clothes. I’m not masculine, I’m just comfortable, warm and cuddly.
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LMAO. I definitely don’t want to hike and have an affinity to cheese. Maybe bear is my lesbian spirit animal as well.
I was just having this thought myself “are there lesbian bears or the equivalent?” When I got out of my last relationship and I was ready to move on I got a lot of “no thank you’s ” from potentials because I’m heavy and/or I do shave my legs or underarms.
I know this is an old comment but there is a group called Bear Dykes on facebook. Small but growing!
JORDAN on the screen, always staged unknown wonderful. JORDAN classic advertising segment over the years, which one gave you left a memorable memory?
I’m a bisexual male to female transgender woman who is attracted to men that would fit in the “bear” description as well as plus size, strong women that aren’t afraid to get dirty or break a nail, would I qualify as a bear-ette?
I am probably as close to a female bear that you’ll get, my friends actually call me Grizzly at times. I’m almost 6ft tall, not bbw, but I’m bigger and packed with muscle. I grow facial hair, chest hair, stomach hair, my legs are furry, my backside, pretty much everything except for my back looks like a bear was shaved and the hair was glued to me. I’m not gonna lie, I love being furry, but I’ve always felt alone in the lesbian community and have always caught a lot of shit from other butch lesbians.
Feel free to email me for pictures if you’re curious as to what a bear lesbian looks like.
I’m guessing that the female equal of a bear is an Amazon, a muscular/buff lesbian, but your saying they should be fat right?
Check out the Klondykes of the Ohio Valley.
Personally, as a 5’4” 210lb hairy gay lady, I identify as a wolf. I figure if guys are bears, wolves makes sense as they’re smaller but still hairy, fierce and cute! Opens up word play options too.
I like that! You should definitely make that a thing (sorry for the super late reply…. I suck ha)