First let me say I am sorry that I haven’t written much (if anything) in the last two weeks. My stepfather succumbed to pneumonia (after a lengthy decline) on February 16… Thank you for the thoughts and sentiments I received from those that knew about it.
Now back to the regularly scheduled K Word.
I’m sure you all think I am always writing about the black lesbian community more than the lesbian community as a whole… and this won’t change your mind. shrugs
Oprah. Whitney. Queen Latifah. Alicia Keys. Missy Elliot. Beyonce. What do these ladies have in common?
They are all powerful and successful women of color AND I have heard “secret lesbian” rumors about all of them in the last month… Okay maybe not Missy Elliot but that’s only because she hasn’t dropped a CD in a while.
sigh
Is it me or does this seem to be a black thing? I know I know, just like our conversation about labels, I am sure there are white celebrities dealing with this too like… umm… wait who?**
Even if some of these ladies are gay, which I know at least one is (don’t ask), why is it up to us to force them out the closet? At first I thought it was because we are just an intrusive (read: nosy as hell) society. And while that is true, I don’t think it is the only reason. We NEED/WANT an openly black lesbian superstar. We NEED/WANT someone in the public eye that we can identify with. Not ignoring her journey to this level but really today, who doesn’t love Ellen’s super lesbian self, dancing around the stage and posing with her beautiful wife? She has the power, success and fame to do just about whatever she wants. She serves as a extremely positive pop culture representation of a lesbian, especially a white one.
We want our Ellen. Just one… I’m not being greedy. And as much as I love her, Wanda Sykes DOES NOT COUNT. Tide Gain is a great detergent but… yeah shrugs
We want to see Oprah and Gayle in matching Vera Wang gowns. We want the Queen to be grand marshall on the pride float (and then not deny it has anything to do with being a lesbian… side eye). We wanted Beyonce (pre-marriage and baby, of course) to grab Bibi McGill‘s hand on stage at a concert with love in her eyes. Â Didn’t we all do a double take when cornrow and fedora wearing butch Alicia Keys was playing on that piano? Hell we even dug Whitney’s relationship with Robyn from the 90s out from the grave. We want our go-to Super Black Lesbian. Is that too much to ask?
I love Audre Lorde. I love Tracy Chapman… Lord knows I do, but umm THEY DON’T COUNT EITHER! no shade
exhale
I’m done. Thoughts?
**I’m only being slightly facetious, I’m really interested. Throw some names in the comment section please.
Hello 40s (formerly the Kword) 
I’m a white lesbian… recently in conflict over the whole Jodie Foster thing. I get it… there’s a political validation that comes of visible celebrity openness. And maybe it’s because I’m white and we already have a few of those that I find myself wishing we didn’t need it. But it’s a conflict because I SO love Ellen… love that she’s there pushing us along in all of her spotlight. Whomever in your list it is that you KNOW is gay… I do hope they come out… hope they understand, more than anything, that because of their spotlight, they have the power to inspire hope and change.
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Let me agree with you very quickly, I definitely wish we didn’t need any of it. But yes unfortunately we do.
even slightly equate it to having the first black/woman/gay/lesbian president… but I am going to have to. Why? Because in today’s society we celebrate our celebrities more than our elected officials. People seem to need a flint to spark their own personal change, even if it comes from VH1, MTV or Bravo.
Oh and about the one I KNOW is gay… she has been denying it FOREVER while publicly flaunting her relationships. *shrugs* If she likes it I love it.
Thanks for sharing your voice!
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well said…it would be nice to have someone we could all identify with but unfortunately our career always supercedes our personal life/feelings.
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I am not sure if the culture of celebrity has changed or if I have just become more aware of it but it seems like in the last few years the stars have become lost their edge or lost their desire to use their status for good.
We don’t have any one speaking out anymore… until the whole country has pretty much co-signed what they are going to say. I mean really, stars speaking out for LGBT rights is nice BUT aren’t they all doing that now?
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Furrealz? That’s masrelouvly good to know.
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Why am i just discovering this blog? Great job Kristi. I’m in love.
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🙂 We are happy you did! I am going to have to check you out too.
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I totally agree with you 110%. I WOULD love to see not just a black lesbian, but a black lesbian even gay couple. I personally believe there are quite a few celebrities in who have a rainbow flag in their closet. But who will be the one to take said flag and come into the spotlight waving it? ……:crickets:……What is it we are so afraid of?? What is the big taboo? Is it because deep down we hold some type of stigma about our sexuality within ourselves/our people? That it’s ok for ‘them’, but ‘we don’t do that’? Just what is it ?!?!?
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I wish I knew. Like I said in the post about labels (here) I think we as a people are extremely conservative, and that goes for us in and out of the closet.
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I don’t think that black or white celebrities, if they’re lesbians, should have to come out. They should be free to live their lives privately. Maybe they’re just very private people and don’t want to mess up their career. These lesbians(or not) don’t owe the black lesbian community or lesbian community in general anything. Everyone should live their own life and worry about their own.
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I don’t think any celebrity lesbian(if they are) black or white should have to come out or be pressured to. It’s their life not anyone elses. They deserve to have privacy. Maybe they don’t want to hinder their career and are private people. These lesbians(or not) don’t owe the black lesbian community or lesbian community in general anything. Everyone should live their own life and not worry about anyone else’s.
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I do not believe in “outing” anyone. My wife was a bartender once upon a time in NYC, so i know all the “closet” folks of all races. Its a personal choice to divulge one’s sexuality. Remember, being gay in our community was never an issue until white america told us so.
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I love your last part… and I have thought about it often myself. I have to explore that some more.
Thanks!
~KK
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