Now this is going to sound bad…. I am telling you now. THIS IS GOING TO SOUND BAD… but I’m not a fan of lesbians. I don’t hang out with lesbians. I don’t really go to lesbian establishments. I am not a part of any lesbians organizations (read: cliques). I don’t really have more than 5 close lesbian friends. I just… no thank you. I am making a scrunched face at myself while I write this but it’s true.

(Sidenote: this is going to be one of those posts where the word lesbian is used a lot…. maybe I should try to switch up the terminology to break it up.) 

When you start dealing with lady lovers there is an inevitable level of drama that I can’t be bothered with. I would say it’s a woman thing but no no no the whole vagina connoisseur component takes it to a level. It’s a “who dated who, but is dating who now” environment. It’s a “well you know she has kids, she’s only been out for 2 months, I think she still talks to her ex-husband” environment. There are so many levels on one upmanship that it makes me look at people crazy. I don’t know much about building bonds, but having an open disgust is not normally the best way to start.

So yesterday while I finally had lunch with one of those “Speak in public, Follow on Social Media” acquaintances from around town I was not expecting much. I was honestly more excited about the food. This is definitely episode of “KK Doest’t Know Best”.

After some crazy communication screwup, we finally met at Fish Fish Miami, a local seafood market/restaurant. First things first, as I suspected we had to do the sapphic rain dance. The sapphic rain dance is a term I use when two newly connected lesbians (I couldn’t think of another term except muff diver which I think is derogatory but I’m not sure) go through the who do you know, who did you date, have we shared secretions questions. Thankfully no red flags went up, so we made it through appetizers. We talked and laughed about ourselves and our mannerisms through the main course. It was clear within minutes, there was absolutely no chemistry between us. No one got wet (tears… or otherwise), so the dance came to an end.

After lunch, we ended up going back to hang at her apartment. It was there that I really enjoyed her company. I think wine and one’s own surrounding does that. We talked a lot more casually (and loudly). Jammed to music, India Arie is an instant friendship maker in my opinion, and played the stupidest game in the world. And yes it is only stupid because I lost…3 times. Has anyone else played Phase 10? It’s stupid lol. The only thing that raised an eyebrow was I did notice she made a few dips to the bathroom to make calls… but it’s her house and she is grown so cool.

So in between her whooping me in this STUPID game and several glasses (read: bottles) of wine, Lesbian #2 calls and Lesbian #1 invites her to stop by. Now I know Lesbian #2… but I don’t KNOW Lesbian #2. She is one of those been around a minute ODs (figure it out for yourself) that everyone has met at least once. I SHOULD have made an exit at that time, but I was tipsy and didn’t feel like driving. I am so glad I stayed. Lesbian #2 added a really fun addition to the dynamic. By the end of the night we were all laughing (a little louder than before), eating AMAZING ceviche and playing dominoes where I redeemed myself. I also found out the calls Lesbian #1 was making in the bathroom were to Lesbian #3. Lesbian #3 I also know… but I don’t KNOW. She has actually been to my house weirdly enough but that’s its own story. She was nice the 5 seconds I spoke with her which is all that matters in my book.

We are all actually supposed to hang out next weekend and play cards… or so we said. Could KK actually have new lesbian friendlies? Whodathunk…

Fish Fish Miami

13488 Biscayne Blvd

North Miami, FL 33181

Menu Choices:

ROCK SHRIMP With chipotle dipping sauce (pictured)
JUMBO SHRIMP SCAMPI Over linguini in white wine and butter sauce (pictured)
ASSORTED FRUIT WITH VANILLA ICE CREAM (pictured)

Food: Meh. Overbattered seafood is not my favorite thing. I enjoyed my Rock Shrimp well enough but her calamari was not to my liking. The Jumbo Shrimp Scampi looked good BUT the chef went a bit of overkill with the sauce to where it almost had a soup consistency. The shrimp itself was very tasty so I ate that. My dessert was fruit and ice cream. I like fruit and ice cream… yeah. She really enjoyed her key lime pie (I should have gotten a spoonful).

Service: He was personable. Not memorable but at least personable.

Environment: It is a strip mall of sorts but it is very lovely once you get inside. I really enjoyed the decor.

What to Wear: it seems to be one of those places where is honestly depends on the time of day. It was very casual during the day but I am sure at night with candlelight it could be one worth stepping it up for.

Overall: 3.

Would I go again?: If I were in the area, but I wouldn’t make the commute for it.

ROCK SHRIMP With chipotle dipping sauce

JUMBO SHRIMP SCAMPI Over linguini in white wine and butter sauce

Assorted Fruit with Ice Cream