Good morning lovebugs. Wow it’s been a while since I started off a post like that o_O. I am trying to mentally and physically regroup from an exhausting (and awesome) weekend.
Saturday morning, I did Habitat for Humanity through my company’s community action committee. By Saturday afternoon, I wanted to cut off my own limbs because everything hurt. Thanks to Epsom Salt and Tylenol, I bounced back in time for the second installment of the Lesbians of Color Dinner Series hosted this time by the K Word’s own Crystal J.
I had a great time. Crystal and her partner chose a Mediterranean theme. We enjoyed kebabs and turkish delite, while sipping on shots of Ouzo. Yes, we sipped the shots because I only know one person who could take to the head (Shout out to Brig). It was great to see the energy from the first event didn’t extinguish over the month. We had great conversations and met some new ladies (which will always be my favorite part).
I don’t have any pictures of this party because the hostesses asked that we not take any. No debauchery occurred but I still respected their wishes. Let the record show my dress was fierce… and since there are no pictures on record of it… I’m wearing it again. *shrugs*
Last night I learned a couple of things about myself, as liquor makes me even more transparent than normal (which is pretty damn transparent).
1. I am territorial. For those that know me, this is a given. I don’t like sharing. Don’t get me wrong, I am a very generous person but I don’t like sharing people I have bonded with. I’m like that two-year old that screams “Mine Mine Mine”. I am also becoming uncomfortably like the dog that pisses on a tree. I have to do better about that. (See I told you I am transparent even sober).
2. I am petty and I hold grudges, whether I am right or wrong. This goes back to my unwillingness to bond with most people, so the people I do bond with are held to unreasonable expectations. I have to learn to let things go and not piss on the roses.
Okay I have used the word piss twice… no bueno.
3. I love women. I looooooooove women. I love sitting and talking to new women… just soaking them up. That tends to seem like I am flirting but in most cases it’s not about that. I just want to absorb them… inhale them… *sigh*
4. I don’t want a relationship. I have been trying to convince myself that I am ready and willing to have a girlfriend. I’m not. I love the benefits of having a girlfriend but I don’t want to put in the work. As a “femme”, I find myself trying to force myself into the mindset that I should want to nest. I should want to find a partner to share my life with… blah blah nah I’m good. I just want someone (or someones) that I can kick it with… until we don’t. Is that too much to ask?