Before I can even get started with this review, I must say these words:

Velvet Goldmine is one huge, unforgivingly beautiful mindf*ck from outer space.

Whew.

Now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest, I can finally talk about the
film. This review has been three months in the making, for good reason.

I watched Brian Slade (played by the deliciously twinky Jonathan Rhys Myers) slink his way in and out of the hearts everyone he meets with his almost angelic beauty and brash glamour. Toni Collette is perfect as his supportive, super fan, Mandy, who manages to love him even when he becomes an insufferable bastard.

After Brian leaves Mandy for the drug addled Curt Wild, played by
Ewan McGregor, the story gets convoluted and hard to understand. Oh yea, Christian Bale plays a reporter named Arthur Stuart who is writing an article on the disappearance of Brian Slade who faked his death some years before. Arthur also had a raging boy crush on Slade when he was a closeted teenager. Like I said, this is a lot for a girl to process.

All of my senses were simultaneously massaged and abused as I,
lost in a labyrinth of confusion, wandered about aimlessly seeking an
understanding of this drama. Drama. Drama. Queen Crystal LaBeija’s
Girdle Drama wrapped in an amazing soundtrack. It is homage to Ziggy Stardust, Lou Reed, Little Richard, Iggy Pop and all of the other fops and shirt lifters who dusted Rock n Roll with glitter.

Sure it is ambiguous and confusing at times, but hey…it’s a movie
about glam rock and gayness and love and sex and fantasy. Velvet
Goldmine drifts in and out of reality like an opium addict. Sometimes
funny, sometimes sad but always gorgeous, this movie will entertain.
It may also cause you to Google search for movie reviews or any other clues as to what you could’ve possibly missed. What just happened? Did I miss something? Don’t panic. I’m still confused…but I wouldn’t mind watching it again in a few years. Just to see if someone figured it out yet.