My night last night can be summed up in one Facebook post.

And it hit me… every straight girl should have a lesbian wingman.

It’s hard out here for straight women looking for love ¹ and they need our help. Don’t give me that look! There are hundreds of thousands of eligible men in the world, just because we don’t want them doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have them.

So my dearest hetero, why is your favorite lezzie your best chance at finding Mr. Right? Here are 5 reasons:

1. We know what is sexy about a woman, not what you think is sexy about you. Wait that sounds almost almost sexist… Let’s put it this way we have been flirted with by enough women to know what sticks.
2. We are another set of… eyes. There is nothing a man likes better than being chatted up by not just one but two lovely ladies. Even if he knows he only has a chance in hell with one.
3. No under the table dealing with us. We don’t want your man, we don’t want any man for that matter. We are 100% committed to getting you all the _____ you can handle.
4. We got your back and your front. Need a tic tac? Toilet paper stuck to your pump? Falling out of your shirt? We will make sure you are looking your best without hesitation. Well maybe a little hesitation with the falling out of the shirt thing. We are only human.
5. Did I mention we don’t want any man? No jitters. No holds barred. We can talk to any guy that walks up in shoulder tapping distance. Fear of being shot down? Never, they don’t have the bullets… and we are cute.

Now the real question is how many drinks are you going to buy us in appreciation for our sacrifice?

xoxo,

KK “Super Wingwoman”

 

 

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Kristi K is the K of the KWord. She is a part-time blogger and full-time lezzie. Born, bred and cultivated in Dade county, you can usually find her sipping super juice at a local hole in the wall bar or stirring up trouble on Twitter at @kristiweb.