So I did something that I have never done before. Something Ma Dear would clutch her pearls and roll around in her grave for. Something my friends would probably be shocked by. Something I am not all that proud of…

I asked a woman out… on a non-date.

** crickets **

Ummm this is a big deal! Don’t roll your eyes at the screen. I have never ever evvvvver asked anyone out before.  Male or Female.¹ And no it’s not because I am a “femme“, it’s because I’m southern…

Didn’t I tell you about rolling your eyes at people?

To be completely honest, I have never been interested in anyone that wasn’t extremely vocal about being interested in me. And then this happened.

My 28th birthday. Ahem My 4th…I mean 5th… 28th birthday ²

No it wasn’t one of those “I’m Old and Alone” moments. No nightmares about being a cat lady ³. And chiiiile please know my biological clock has no batteries. This is all because my friends decided to get me a groupon for French food and wine tasting… for two.

Bastids.

And then there was the movie on Netflix where the girl didn’t take the chance… and then there was a train accident… I think someone lost a leg.  Maybe it was a toe? Well whatever limb it was, I felt the need to go out on a it (you see what I did there). So I did.

The who is not really important at this point.  Friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who knows a friend. I don’t even know her very well but I figured we could get tipsy and eat a croissant.

So… I asked. And she answered… with a yes

Score! And Duh! hair flip

Then I actually called to make the reservation and the time was wrong.

So… I re-asked. She didn’t re-answer. I rescinded.

Boooo! And Tuh! resting bitch face

Anyone want a crepe?

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Kristi K is the K of the KWord. She is a part-time blogger and full-time lezzie. Born, bred and cultivated in Dade county, you can usually find her sipping super juice at a local hole in the wall bar or stirring up trouble on Twitter at @kristiweb.