Don’t roll your eyes. I am really need to know about this. Because I am feeling some kind of way…¹.

I am pretty sure y’all know what church queens are (or can guess). It is a gay (often closeted) man in the church who sighs heavily and sucks their teeth when they see a more flamboyant gay man walk down the aisle at altar call. If you are trying to spot him, he can usually be seen sporting a pastel polkadot bow tie with matching pocket square (no shade).²

Okay so by virtue of my own definition, I can’t be a church queen. But I still feel some kind of way… Let me tell you why.

I am very out (obviously!). I’m out at work. I’m out to my family. Hell I am out to you. But when it comes to church and church folks mmm not so much.

I don’t accept friend requests from church members often. And when I do, I have them on a friend list called “Church Folks” so they have limited access to what they can see. I was all excited about working with the young people ministry, until one of the little 20-something tomboys tried to hit on me on the sly. I clutched my pearls, took a double take (It’s a reflex) and high tailed it to my car.

While I love seeing lesbian couples in the pew, I am not giving them more than a smile during Fellowship hymn. No secret lesbian handshakes or choruses of “We are Family” for me. That super hot stud with the honey dreds who sits on the left will get a lingering glance (It’s a reflex) but no eye locking. Is it bad that though I have visited with my exes, I have never considered bringing a woman to my church?

The question that worries me is, why? If I am so happy and content with my life why shouldn’t I bring that joy into the house of the Lord. I want to say it’s because I don’t want my mother to have to field phone calls from the gossip hotline (aka the usher board) but I am not sure that is the only reason…

Hmm… maybe wondering if I am a church queen isn’t the real question I need to ask myself.