Step Three: … I Need Some Sperm
Chiiiiiile… here is the part that keeps me up at night. I always said that if I were having a baby with my partner, I would want to use the sperm from one of her relatives to give them some kind of genetic tie.
But then I looked at the cost of having a baby “the old fashioned way” vs doctor administered… and no ma’am. And unless my partner was going to be okay with me doing the deed with her favorite uncle or brother (eww), I had to rethink my master plan.
I guess the benefit of being a tarnished copper star lesbian is that hetero-sex is like riding a bike. I better find a Schwinn and pedal.1
So I went to an old friend and asked him to screw me… no I really did. He is one of those guys that straight KK would have scooped up by now. Sensitive, attractive, logical and thoughtful. All the things that made me think him a great candidate, were also the things that that meant he would never be a great candidate for me.
His reasoning was logical, thoughtful and sensitive.
He hasn’t been married or had children yet, so he wants to be able to be the best possible dad to his first born .Though he wished me well, and did his best to make his answer less painful, it was still a resounding No.
I cried for 2 days.
So I am still trying to figure out who my baby daddy2 will be. I love using that term… I have no idea why.
The tales of desperation that I have heard are a little disheartening and scary. I even heard of a woman that goes around to bars picking up men and screwing them raw (or if forced with hole punched condoms3 trying to get pregnant. She could be having a baby with an STD riddled Jack the Ripper and not even know it .
I will admit that I considered going to Wilton Manors4 and paying one of the boys to knock me up and get it over with. screwed face But nah.. right? Right, nah.
Sigh…. sigh… sigh…
Did you know: If you choose to use a male friend or colleague as the sperm donor, you still have to make arrangements for the donor to through the same screening as an anonymous donor. The “directed donor” sperm will be frozen, quarantined and released to you only after repeated testing of the donor (at least 180 days later).
Hello 40s (formerly the Kword) 
Have no fear, we’re both in the same boat. I’ve thought about having a baby the old fashion way vs going to the doctor. Going to the doctor and getting a donor is expensive and time consuming. Not to say that having it the old fashion way isn’t time consuming and expensive. I’ve asked some of my male friends to go “half on a blessing” (I like how that sounds) and they’ve declined as well and try to be sensitive about it.
I did have one friend who said that he was willing to go “half on a blessing” with me except for he wanted to do it the old fashion way. Not sure how that would work if I have a partner but I still haven’t dismissed the idea. I’m glad you shared your story because I’m looking for mines too. lol
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Prayers up, blessing down sis. Thank you for sharing your journey. When it happens, our babies will have to have a playdate. I speak it into existence!!!!
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Ashe’! I speak that into existence too. Keep me updated, I’m sure one of us will be pushing lol
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Prayers up, blessing down sis. Thank you for sharing your journey. When it happens, our babies will have to have a playdate. I speak it into existence!!!!
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If you can find a donor you dont have to have sex to get pregnant. Our donor used a canestan canaster syringe and then we inserted it. Waalaah we had a baby boy 9 mths later.
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Thank you for this info! I am googling it right now. Congratulations on your little person!!!
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