So I know I am often late to the party… it’s not because I don’t want to be there but sometimes I take the scenic route. That’s how I feel about queer artist Kelela and her song “Bank Head”
This is not new by any stretch of the imagination (it came out in 2013) but I heard it just a while ago on set for the first time. I didn’t know who sang it or even the name but it was a vibe that my spirit needed. A lightning speed download of Shazam later (which I didn’t even know was still around) and I was on it. Ever since I have listened to it no less that 50 times, each time vibing like it is brand new.
Chocolate City born, second-generation Ethiopian American, Kelela who was featured on Solange’s Scales, is the epitome of dope black queer everythingness. Her beauty alone is stark and stunning. Hard stop. But once I fell into the rabbit hole that is Al Gore’s internet, I realized her voice was strong and impactful even outside of the studio. She speaks vulnerably and honestly about her experiences in life, love and the black experience. *deep gutteral sigh*
When I close my eyes and hear this song, I picture a dark club where everyone is dancing in what seems like a blur except for me and HER. Lasers of different colors cascade over our glistening black bodies as we move slowly to the drop beat… yeah it is one of those songs. Sexuality in plain sight until… as the song goes “time goes by”
I have been really excited and in love with my morning routine for the last few weeks.
For those that know me, I have been on a whole life affirming journey. As I am working on my next upcoming chapter (more coming — stay tuned), I have realized that I need to be more diligent and deliberate in how I spend my time and reach my goals.
I am a creature of habit. Both good habits and bad, if I’m honest. When my life is a mess, it is a BIG MESS. When my life is on an upward trajectory, I am a whole mood. I have to be intentional about every aspect of my life so I decided the morning is the way to set the pace. Is it just me or if you have a great morning, your day goes better?
For the record, this post is for sure not trying to get you to do my routine. It is just a post to share how I figured out what works for me and hopefully it will give you a little zhuzh [1] …I know for ME my routine gets me feeling awake, productive and affirmed before the day starts going. Here goes…
Get woke.
I used to hate waking up. For some reason, my body knows exactly when my alarm is getting ready to go off, which coincidentally felt like 5 minutes before I was supposed to wake up. Every morning without fail l, I would hit the snooze button 3 times before I actually got up. By the last buzzer, I was jumping up and running around the house in order to get out of the house for work. It started my day feeling stressed out and rushed. And often my day would continue just like that.
I have now moved my charger and phone to the other side of the room so I have to physically get up and go turn it off. By the time I focus my eyes and make the first step, I am up. For full disclosure, I have been tempted to walk back over to the bed once or twice (I’m still growing) but for the most part I have kept it moving.
Set the mood.
Once I have my slippers on, I make my way to my half bathroom.
For the most part I am a night shower-er (unless I have gotten up super early or need a little extra), so my half bathroom is my zen place for my facial routine. The first thing that I do is light my candles. I have been in love with the candles I have been using from Queen Mary Candle, Co here in Miami. They are hand poured and smell amazing. I sent batches out in my birthday gift boxes this year. They were hit.
Next I activate the “Daily Affirmations” on my Amazon Fire dot. Today I was told that I am strong, healthy and powerful. I repeat my affirmation 4 or 5 times in a row while I am setting up my skincare.
Once I have gotten ready, I start my Anthony Hamilton Pandora channel. Aside from the fact that I love his music, the channel has a great mix of soulful tunes and spiritual music. It will go from Solange to Tamela Mann to Jaheim. It is a good time, and I can pretend I am on the newest episode of Sunday Morning Best or the Voice.
Wash On. Wash Off.
So I am trying to decide if I should make this part a separate blog post. I worked with April King of Glamour Impulse to create the best regimen for my daily skin care. I have added a few tweaks to it but it has definitely made my skin reach a new level of bombness. Between her blog, her Instagram and her YouTube channel, I am very excited about what she is going to introduce me to next [3].
Let’s just say, I do 7-10 steps every morning and a varied routine every night. Yes I will definitely do another post full of product links later. The response that I have gotten from those who have seen me has been so positive. I work in the fashion and beauty industry for my 9 to 5, so when a legit celebrity makeup artist [4] gives you a high five… you take it.
Most of the times I don’t wear makeup but definitely make sure my face is moisturized and the rest of my body is shea buttered up.
Keep hydrated.
So after I have revived my skin, I take a moment and revive internally. Since I am doing intermittent fasting, I don’t have breakfast but I make sure to drink my first 8 oz of water before I get dressed.
I blow out my candle (because I don’t want to burn my house down) and say bye to Alexa. I am ready to go.
Stay grateful.
With everything going on, I was struggling to find my peace and my happy. I felt anxious about going to work, I felt guilty for having a job to go to. It was an odd mix of survivors’ guilt and feeling like a sacrificial lamb. With the help of loving friends and self reflection, I have gotten better at being ok. On the way to work, I text some of the most important people in my life. I chat with my friend Gennie, I send a daily check in on Mama K Word and have now introduced a new “love on y’all” text with my sisters. Everyone of them sow positivity and light into my life, so I want to start their days off with some too.
Now let’s keep it real. Does this routine happen perfectly every day? Nah. Nope. Chiiiiile. Do I feel bad when I miss a step or two? Only for a second. The best thing about the routine is that it has a lasting effect. If I mess up one day, the affirmation and love from the day before keeps me going until I get back on target the next day.
[1]In general use, ‘zhuzh’ tends to mean “to improve in appearance by way of a slight adjustment.” Sidenote I legit that zhuzh was a Yiddish word that old Jewish mothers used over mahjong… Guess I was wrong. Shout out to Carson from Queer Eye.
[2]I have purchased many high end candles in my day but I love these. They last 2 weeks and are fun to try out. (I have one fragrance for my morning routine and another for my evening routine).
[3]Though my wallet is looking a little nervous. Beauty hurts… my bank account.
[4]Celebrity artist like iconic, A lister, supermodel knowing celebrity artist. No shade to instagram celebs.
Jolene’s Bar and Restaurant
2700 16th St
San Francisco, CA 94103
Cuisine: Brunch, Bar Food
Food: They have a really cute brunch menu. I can’t tell you what it takes like because I was too full to order food BUT the plates I saw people getting looked AMAZING! I would have definitely tried to grab a bite but I would have popped.
Drinks: While they have a full bar, I opted for the Think Pink. It is cocktail of St. Germain, Grey Goose, Vodka, Lemon and Grapefruit juice. The sugar on the rim was a good touch. Cheyenne the bartender did the damn thing!
Service: Ok so I will be honest, when I read the reviews of yelp I was concerned about the service. There were several comments about people receiving poor service and the bar staff being impolite. I had the absolute opposite experience. From the sweethearts behind the bar, to the amazing hostess who took the top off the pool table so we could play, the service was amazing.
Now granted you all know I will make a party wherever I go, but this was such a cool space. And crazy enough I ended up talking to Jolene and her crew, not even knowing who she was. We laughed and talked together until it was time to go to the airport. It was a great experience I would tell anyone and everyone to try it out.
The Show: Finally a burlesque show that is actually burlesque. Usually when people say burlesque, they mean a highly choreographed modern dance show … where the performers happen to be topless. Burlesque should have a little tease and a little fun. They were so amazing and lighthearted. Definitely a great time. I think the rotation changes weekly.
What to Wear: Very come as you are.
Overall: 5 out of 5. Great experience. Definitely worth the hype. Nothing else to say.
I told you I was back. does dance I feel like I have been having a mental blockage when it came to blogging because so many things were happening and I felt like I was drowning. So now that I am no longer treading water I am going to write everything that I haven’t gotten to share… backward.
I will end up in Chicago in July at the Jill Scott and Anthony Hamilton. I’ll know if you don’t read this part when I see the comments congratulating my rekindled relationship… don’t be that person.
First up, let me tell you about the amazing brunch I had last Sunday with the odd trio (me, George and Donna) for my birthday. We were supposed to have it on my actual birthday but I took a last minute trip to Phoenix with Jai to ring in my new year (remember we are working backward). So this was a little makeup… brunch.
I apologize for the delay on this post but this is one that I have been wanting to share for the last week. I know we have been seeing lots of posts about the tourists dying in Dominican Republic and the speculation around the causes. And while the intrigue is going to be a lifetime movie (or true crime documentary), there is another pressing situation that has been going virtually under the radar for the last few months.
So here is a post with all that I know about the massacre in the Sudan. I was able to have lunch with one of my coworker/sisterfriends to give me more insight into the crisis. I felt so blessed for her willingness to do the emotional work, as she is a Sudanese immigrant and her mother is actually there now.
“Father God if you get me out of the situation alive, I swear I will be in the front pew of Mount Moriah next week. You know I would have been there today but I was trying to be a good Christian and help my sister in her time of need. Amen” I prayed to myself on the way to get in the car. Yes I might have a trash mouth but I was raised in the church and I knew who to call on in my time of need. Now the fact that I should have taken my ass home with Sinclair was beside the point. Right?
When I got to the car, the mystery man opened the door of his big body black on black Audi so I could get in. Closing the door behind me, he walked over to the other side of his car, sparking a blunt. We drove in silence for what felt like an eternity. John Coltrane oozed through his speakers. My dad had been a big Coltrane fan when I was a kid, so I would recognize it anywhere. The mix of the music and weed smoke calmed my whole body down. I found myself drumming my fingers and humming along to myself.
I took a chance to look at my hero. How did I miss how sexy he was? Dressed in a black v-neck shirt and dark navy true religion jeans, he kept his jewelry simple with a single diamond stud in his ear and a watch with a few more diamonds on his wrist. It wasn’t too much, but it did glitter under the lights as we drove down the street. He had dark chocolate skin, with a beautiful full beard that seemed soft to the touch. I let my eyes wander up to his full pink lips as he took another pull of his blunt, I was stuck. I was so caught up I didn’t realize those lips turning up into a smirk as he caught me staring. I looked up into his deep brown eyes, and quickly looked away in embarrassment trying to hide my face. I couldn’t even imagine what it looked like right now.
I am back! I planned on writing another post Thursday, but y’all know work was trying my patience. However, the week and the project actually both ended on a high note and I’m still gainfully employed [1].
Chocolate City born, second-generation Ethiopian American, Kelela who was featured on Solange’s Scales, is the epitome of dope black queer everythingness. Her beauty alone is stark and stunning. Hard stop. But once I fell into the rabbit hole that is Al Gore’s internet, I realized her voice was strong and impactful even outside of the studio. She speaks vulnerably and honestly about her experiences in life, love and the black experience. *deep gutteral sigh*
So I am trying to decide if I should make this part a separate blog post. I worked with April King of 
What to Wear: Very come as you are.
Hello 40s (formerly the Kword) 